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Needs Children for happiness?

Do not worry, someday to stand alone again? And the decision to repent , perhaps? Every fifth German woman remains childless , the majority voluntarily . Why ” Social Freezing ” not make things easier – and like the family of the future might look like.

Americans describe women withouthighquality_pictures_face_paint_children_167990 offspring recently as ” childfree ” ( children free) instead of ” childless ” ( childless ) . One who do not want to insinuate that they are incomplete , only because they want to get children or can . Instead, is signaled by the neologism that alternative models of life in order. In Germany it looks different : childlessness is still a cause for skepticism , unless tragic circumstances have led . When women and couples deliberately forge other life plans or even say they did not hear ticking biological clock – can not vote anything . After all , sooner or later to have a child is not considered an option by many , but simply as a natural.

Childlessness has disadvantages

Those who still decide against it or too long waiting, will regret it. And transpires to this realization, gives you non-mothers before tax disadvantages and showered them with prejudice: neurotic, narcissistic and they are unfeminine, egoistic, consumer-oriented and child-hostile. “The image of childless women is miserable and overloaded with countless clichés,” says Sarah Diehl, 36, and in her book “The clock that not ticking” with women of all ages social milieus said that – like themselves – some women voluntarily forego motherhood or chose birth control implant. That Diehl and the other six million “objectors” between 25 and 45 years could result in an equally fulfilling lives, disappears. “Like the fact that it could be just the overweight German parent ideal that dissuades many women from having children,” says the author.

Germany’s young goes backmom_and_baby_having_fun_204945

Bizarre , if you make yourself fully aware that Germany is currently ranked in terms of offspring ranked 200 of 222 , i.e one in five women will have no children – the majority wanted . As a prerequisite for the good fortune of the masses no longer sees family. Almost 57 per cent between 25 and 40 years of women imagined a glückliches life even without children of her own . Among university graduates is as high as two-thirds . Most Germans feel good friends , health and a job are much more important that they enjoy and which they met , says a new survey by the Institute for Allensbach . Instead of the nuclear family to establish other models . Social parenthood, various couples often jump in time befriended parents need help . And Panks : These are ” Professional Aunts , No Kids” , so single women who are committed to high-stakes as a cool aunt .

Are ” objectors ” to blame for the demographic change?

The sociologist Eva Illouz argues in its popular scientific book ” Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanationir?t=mybr04 20&l=as2&o=1&a=0745671071” even for the separation of parenting and relationship . Your added fairly radical concept stipulates that women bring up their children with women or men who also feel a desire to have children , but not take on the role of the partner. As grounds , it states that women in the context of the classic nuclear family still made ​​dependent on the goodwill of the man – and thus would rather unfortunate . When traditional family models but doubted already so open , why the lousy image of childless holds then still ? It is the public that it foments still . Who does not care about posterity , breaking the intergenerational contract – and is characterized by its bear children, also to blame for the demographic imbalance in the country.

New trend : ” Social Freezing “

Baby shock! In twelve generations we have become extinct, ” the reckoned” from the Bild “newspaper. And the “mirror” predicts that Germany would a “land without a laugh”. They blamed the women, not the system, they want to tell us – and drives a wedge in society: on the one hand, responsible, hardworking and self-sacrificing mother – on the other the lonely childless as a symbol of the lack of solidarity. An immense pressure builds up: women who do not want their children listen, again and again back in, doubt their own decision and jump on trends such as “Social Freezing” to The technology to freeze eggs for later possible to open officially hold everything. On the other hand, only the margin is extended, in which we do not make a clear decision – and we have to justify ten to 15 years longer. And: the generation of professionally successful women “50 plus” physically and mentally at all cope as mothers with small children

Statistically Childless are happier?

We have to ask ourselves seriously whether “We can have it all ” – are to believe promises of policy . For good reason, we are more inclined to believe our friends , colleagues and neighbors who – as Diehl’s interviewees – confirm that children in our meritocracy are the source of infinite bliss. What if you cannot afford everything as a mother , but you can made even and the shoot ? And how little space is reversed even for love, intimacy and serenity ? The statistics anyway speaks happiness rather the childless according to longitudinal study at Princeton University  according to these significantly more satisfied than parents who are economically better off , on average , support each other in the relationship better and maintain their friendships carefully .

baby_lying_on_a_belly_201850Everyone should in itself make the right decision

In contrast, suffer according to a study from Florida State University, significantly more parents than childless from depression. The euphoria over the new generation takes to the first years of life from demonstrable. The situation is different with the self-image of mothers: keeping the young once in the arm, 76 percent believe that the family completes their luck. Will swap almost none. “Nevertheless, the lifestyles of others seem often more enticing than their own, if only for a brief moment,” writes Sarah Diehl. “We tend to compare and abzuklopfen our decisions as to its accuracy.” It can easily be overlooked that the needs, after which we shape our lives are never universal, but always very personal. Diehl: “We should not evaluate or play against each other, but respect.” Each of us only have this one life, and every one of us was afraid to make the wrong decisions. One thing is certain: “Children are not a guarantee for happiness nor source constant worry, neither coronation yet putty for a relationship,” says Diehl. They are human beings with all their needs and requirements are so demanding on parents very much. Therefore, it should – so writes Diehl, and we agree to it – be free to anyone whether he believes to achieve satisfaction with or without them. What counts in the end, is the review of a life, of which one can say that it was fulfilled.